More blonde jokes

Here you will find even more blonde jokes.

Blonde jokes 1-10

 

1. What is the similarity between a blonde and a jacket?
They are both warm and easy to get into.


2. What is the similarity between a blond and a dog?
They both want a stick in their mouths.


3. What is the similarity between a blonde and a highway?
Both get worn out by rubber!


4. What is the similarity between a blonde and a car?
Both smell like burnt rubber!


5. Why are there 17 blondes outside a discotheque?
They need to be 18 to enter!
Why are blondes not able to count to 70?
They only reached 69 in primary school.


6. Why are blondes so quiet when they are having sex?
They do not speak to strangers!
How do you break the nose of a blonde?
You take out your dick under a glass table!


7. What is the first thing a blonde does in the morning when she wakes up?
Puts on her clothes and goes home!


8. A blonde and the mail
The man sees that his blonde neighbor suddenly runs out to her mailbox.
She opens it and closes it quickly and yells: “Dammit!”
Five minutes later she comes back out again, opens the mailbox, closes it again and shouts “But dammit!”
Five minutes later she runs out again for the third time and this time she yells out: “But what in the world…”
The neighbor gets curious and asks: “But what’s wrong?”
The blonde replies: “My stupid computer keeps writing to me – You’ve got new mail!!”.


9. What does a blonde say when you ask how it went with her IQ-test?
Great. I got 13.


10. What is the difference between a blonde and a sink?
You don’t have to hug the sink after you come in it.

Blonde jokes 11-20

 

11. What are the similarities between a blonde and wall mart?
Easy, quick and cheap!


12. What do you call a blonde that is driving?
An airbag!


13. Why did the blonde stand in front of the window with closed eyes?
She wanted to see what she looked like when she was sleeping!


14. What is the similarity between a blonde and an electrical floor light?
Both of them can be turned on by a finger!

15. Why did the blond not want to walk around with her shawl?
It was tight around the neck!

16. How do you know a blonde has been in the refrigerator?
The cucumbers have lipstick on them!


17. What did the blonde do to practice safe sex?
She locked the car door!

18. What is the difference between a cleaning cabinet and a blonde?
Only one person can enter the cleaning cabinet at a time.


19. Why do blondes not possess any cars?
They only use the back seat anyway..


20. What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only put in three fingers in a bowling ball!

Blonde jokes 21-30


21. Why do blondes get confused when they get twins?
They don’t understand who’s the mother to the second one…


22. Why do blondes always drink so much that they get drunk?
They confuse being bent over with a hang over.


23. What did the blonde do who missed bus no 10?
She took two trips with bus no 5.


24. Why do blondes never drink milk?
They are afraid that the cow is gonna fall on them.


25. The blonde who went to the doctor…
The doctor: What is your birthday?
The blonde: 5th of July.
The doctor: Which year?
The blonde: Every year!


26. How do you know if a blonde is practicing safe sex?
You make sure she has locked the car door.


27. When is a blonde worth a dime?
When she walks around with her shopping cart in the store.


28. What do you call a blonde that has gotten a brain cell?
Brave!


29. Two blondes walks into a park to enjoy the summer weather…
The first one says to the other one: Look, there is a dead bird!
The other blonde looks up into the air and says ‘where?’


30. Why do blondes never go to the water palace without cotton in their ears?
They have heard that you can get brain washed.

Blonde jokes 31-40


31.
 Only blondes stay up all night to practice taking a urine test.

32. How do you get a blonde’s eyes to light up?
You put a flash light in her eyes…


33. What is the similarity between blondes and train tracks?
They are lying down and are used all the time.


34. Why do blondes never go water skiing?
Because they spread their legs when they get wet…


35. Why do blondes always have fun?
They don’t know any better…


36. What did the blonde say who just had given birth?
Are you sure that I am the mother.


37. Why do blondes never use vibrators?
They are afraid to ruin their teeth.


38. What is the difference between blondes and terrorists?
You can negotiate with terrorists.


39. What are the similarities between blondes and breakfast products?
They are easy, light and cheap.


40. What did the blonde call her zebra?
Spot!

Blonde jokes 41-50

 

41. What did the blonde do when she got her period?
Put a warrant out for the person who had shot her!


42. What can you do to confuse a blonde?
Nothing. She is already confused.


43. How do you get a blonde to come down from the tree?
You waive to her…


44. What is the difference between a blonde and a Lamborghini?
You never borrow your Lamborghini to strangers.


45. Why do blondes use underwear?
To get warm around the ankles!


46. What do blondes do for foreplay?
They take their clothes of..


47. What is the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
Goes home!


48. Why do blondes take birth control?
Because otherwise they can’t remember which day it is.


49. Why did the blonde get so happy when she was able to solve a puzzle in three months?
Because it said 2-4 years on the package!


50. What is the difference between a Ferrari and a blonde?
Not everyone has tried a Ferrari.

Blonde jokes 51-60

 

51.
A blonde is about to cook dinner for her guests. A total of 24 people will arrive but the recipe she is going to cook is for 12 people.
She sits down and cries and tries to get some help, and then her husband asks: “What’s wrong?”
She replies: “I’m about to cook for our guests and 24 people will show up but I’ve only got a recipe for 12 people!”.
Her husband replies: “Why don’t you just double the recipe? 12*2 is 24!”
The blonde replies: “Well Einstein, because you can’t turn up the oven to 500 degrees!”