Bold jokes

Here you can read all our bold jokes! Be aware that these bold jokes might be offensive to some.


Bold jokes 1-5

1) Three people in a bar did not have any money on.
They walk up to the bartender and ask – ”Can we get a free drink?”
The bartender – ”Sure, if all of your dicks combined are at least one meter!”
The three crazy guys need to pull them out to see if the combined length is at least one meter.
They measure them and the first one is 50 cm, the second one 49 cm and the third one 1 cm.
When later during the evening they leave the bar, the first one says ”We were fortunate that mine was 50 cm”
The next one says, ”It was also good that mine was 49 cm”.
Finally the third one says, ”And we were fortunate that I had a boner!”.


2) The little boy was looking through the girl’s key hole.
The mother walks by and says with a grin: ”Why are you so concerned with what the girl is doing?”
The little boy replies: ”I am not… I am just wondering what dad is doing in there”. 


3) Two labias are talking to each other.
One says to the other: ”Do you think that we will get rubber or meat today?”
The other one replies: ”Are you crazy? It is Friday… We gotta get some candy”


4) Group therapy
A psychologist had a new group therapy for the first time. A group therapy that was about mothers and their children. The psychologist says that we all have a need for something and that this need is individual.
The psychologist then looks at the first mother and says: “Well, you are addicted to candy and therefore you have given the name Candy to your child.”
The psychologist then looks at the second mother and says: “You have a big interest in money and therefore you have given your child the name Penny”
The third mom grabs her son and says: “Come on Dick, let’s go!”


5) What is self confidence?

Self confidence is when a mouse is swimming on his back with a stiff dick in the San Francisco Bay and screams as he approaches the Golden Gate Bridge: “Fuck! Blow it up, I can’t pass!”


Bold jokes 6-10

6) What is the difference between a cracker and a penis?
The cracker gets soft when you put it in the mouth and the penis gets hard.

7) The man at the bakery
A man enters a bakery and a cute girl is standing by the counter.
The man says: ”I would like some apple pie!”
The cashier:  ”We also have donuts.”
The man: ”Sure, I went in here looking for a hole to put my dick in.”

8) Loosing his virginity
A boy walks up to his dad and says: ”Dad, I’ve had sex for the first time!”
The proud dad replies: “Well congratulations my son! If there is something you are wondering about, feel free to ask!”
The boy then replies: ”Well, how long does it take until my ass stops aching?”